“Male fantasies, male fantasies, is everything run by male fantasies? Up on a pedestal or down on your knees, it’s all a male fantasy: that you’re strong enough to take what they dish out, or else too weak to do anything about it. Even pretending you aren’t catering to male fantasies is a male fantasy: pretending you’re unseen, pretending you have a life of your own, that you can wash your feet and comb your hair unconscious of the ever-present watcher peering through the keyhole, peering through the keyhole in your own head, if nowhere else. You are a woman with a man inside watching a woman. You are your own voyeur.”—Margaret Atwood, The Robber Bride (via sugarpussy)
“Think you’re denying me of something
But I’ve got plenty
You’re the one who’s missing out
But you won’t know till
Till after five years
If you live that long
You’ll wake up
All Loveless”—~5 years~ -Bjork (via triomphe-d-uncoeur)
“i’m a fountain of blood
in the shape of a girl
you’re a bird on the brim
hypnotized by the whirl
drink me, make me feel real
wet your beak in the stream
game we’re playing is life
love is a two way dream”—
I think… I think.. I think… I’m going to school to learn how to think. To think in a creative, original, efficient, personal, different, wonderful way. It’s a tough journey, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything else. The toll on my brain and my eyes and my health… I’m not sure if it’s worth all that, but I can’t back out now.
This class I’m taking …Creative ID Process. It’s different because we have two really wonderful instructors who are real people (there are teachers who don’t give a shit, and they aren’t them!) The past few weeks I’ve been failing. I kind of know why, and don’t know why, and I kind of know how to fix that, and I don’t either. All I know is, time is going to pass, the world is going to keep on turning with or without me, so I better try hard as fuck so I don’t regret it.
I hope and I hope to think better, and art better.. to improve myself all the time.
Björk, my hero, is the example I try to live by…She once said “I have a great sense of the clock in me.” Every day should be a new experience, every hour not wasted, let’s not be selfish. The world is always going to be made of this.
Gah, it’s raining this weekend, and my feet are cold, and I trudge on. Let’s do this.
My mom says some oddly deep things when she doesn’t really intend to.
"I cook a variety of dishes because I wanted to learn how to do it. All that is needed is the desire. It’s a sad thing when one isn’t willing or doesn’t desire it."
Horrible translation but… from what I got from it is that losing the fuel that keeps you going, whatever it may be.. a goal, a person, a fear, etc. is possibly the worst thing that can happen. To go stagnant in life (although it happens), slows the creativity and energy flowing through you.
Or maybe my mom’s just implying that she hates lazy people. (loool /mee)
There was a really awesome exhibit of Syd Mead’s original artwork at the Forest Lawn Museum in Glendale, CA this past Thursday. I was dying of fatigue and sickness and feeling horribly self-conscious of my drab, frumpy face and attire. I hated having to bring tissues and make annoying expelling-snot noises. Thank you Fernando and Lisa for taking care of me in my sad snot-ness. I’m much better now, but still got phlegm and poop in mah nose.
ANYWAY, you’re not reading this about my stupid sickness but about Syd Mead! I never really gave Syd that much thought because I thought he was just “one of those guys” back in the day who made amazing stuff, but now just gets invited to speak about his work/life and inspire young individuals. Which he does. But when I saw those fucking ginormous, beautiful gouache paintings, I was thrown back a little by the sheer craftsmanship and beauty. No one these days can paint like this anymore really, there isn’t a need to. But man, seeing them made me appreciate and respect Syd a lot more.
We mingled outside in the evening with heaters and little elbow height tables that seemed to promote the mingling, waiting for Syd’s speech to start at 8:00pm. People were buying mountains of prints and books to get them signed by his truly. Us Art Center students had just come from a hellish afternoon class, so we were all extremely underdressed and poopy looking. LOL
We hounded the waiters who were doling out hors’douerves (how the fuck do I spell that) and got free refreshments yay! The non-alcoholic sangría tasted much like grape juice, twas enjoyable.
Finally we all filed into the spacious auditorium that projected a huge screen of Syd’s presentation video. Syd talked about things like keeping that inner child in you, and immersing yourself in the world that you are creating, and went through individually a lot of the popular works he had accomplished for many clients in the past. He was wearing a white suit with a black shirt underneath that had the volume bars that would light up when he spoke (I’ve seen them at Nucleus.. pretty cool), an annoying blue blinking light clipped to his blazer and the most important accessory of all, sunglasses at night!
It was a fine evening with a beautiful view of ghetto Glendale… I think I might come back here to paint some time. Anyone with me??
Spring break is going on or coming up for a lot of college students, NOT including me and the rest of Art Center. Please bear with me because I still have school and work can’t be compromised. T_T